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Although my goal when updating the site is to
feign ambivalence about
what WDW has become, how much of it's worth remembering and
whether this site can serve
a useful, long-term purpose in describing an increasingly small percentage of its lost features,
almost everything here is a
product of having reached these conclusions:
WYW is intended
for a narrow spectrum of Disney fans
A) People who grew up
with and/or worked at WDW during its first 20 years, and/or B)
People who missed out on that time period but find the
subject appealing and/or
C) People who abide dubious forums for topics
they care about.
I'm
not a historian
A real WDW historian's website would
eventually have a Golf Resort page, but I'd rather
make 100 Polynesian pages than make a first one
for The Golf Resort. I can barely type the world golf without taking a nap in the
middle. There are other people, however, doing a great job of
covering parts of WDW that don't interest me. Golf.
Jeez. Mini
-golf, on the other hand
...
The WDW of my youth (and probably yours) is gone
forever
Even if
Disney rebuilt Mr. Toad's Wild Ride inch for inch, it wouldn't
sit opposite 20,000
Leagues
Under The
Sea or just down the path
from the Plaza Swan Boats; it was the combination of all those great elements that
made early WDW wonderful to me as a child, not a few magnificent pieces.
The pieces that remain, though, are still valuable and sit
on sacred ground.
WDW today is
a ponderous combination of the old, the new, the good, the
bad and the incomprehensible
While great new attractions
have been added since the 1980s, concurrent with that decade's end began the routine disappearance of fantastic older features, the "fixing" of things that weren't broken and renovations that discounted aesthetic foundations laid by WDW's original designers. By the turn of the last century, the challenges WDW faced in maintaining itself were daunting. Pearly white shorelines became weed gardens, animated figures were removed or left inoperable in multiple locations and disinterested cast members became less an exception if not quite a rule. As if all that wasn't enough, the average guest also got way nastier over time*. This puts the modern-day WDW at odds with its majestically clean and thematically integrated former self of 1971-1986.
That's sad,
but less
sad with every passing year. Few people see continuity between what WDW was in
1971 and what it is now. Some are still
looking, though, and I wish those seekers the
best on their journey. I'll stay here
and scan old pictures for you.
There's no right or wrong reason to
like, or dislike, today's WDW
My
son
thinks
Test
Track is one of the best things on Disney property and
I'll never know how much he would have enjoyed World
of Motion. We agree on one thing, though: at present
we'd both rather spend a day at Fun Spot than Epcot. It's just so
much easier.
It may be annoying for some younger
WDW fans to hear people like me suggest that they missed out on the
best of WDW, and if you're a
big Everest fan then you'd probably choose the WDW of 2011 over the WDW of
1978, but we're just talking about opinions. WDW means a lot
of different things to a lot of different people, and the difficult heart
on my sleeve didn't come with a crown making
me King of Everybody. If it had, everyone would be too busy making onion rings
and Pamela Tiffin clones to waste time worrying about
jacked-up Yetis. But one of my main goals with this
site was to piece together a low-grade vision of how cool the old WDW
was to me, and in what ways
specifically, before it changed. One of the most direct ways of
accomplishing that is by employing comparison, so I might come
across as dismissive toward stupid stuff like Aladdin's carpets completely compromising the
Sunshine Pavilion's forecourt.
Taking
aim at Walt Disney Imagineering's mistakes isn't the same as
chaining its designers to pillories and braining them with rotten
fruit
First of all, it's hard to get them to a
pillory because they wriggle around like the
dickens. Furthermore, even if someone said Enchanted Tiki Room: Under New
Management was the worst attraction ever put in front of an
audience, that it lent new depth to the word "abhorrent" and that it
would have made Walt Disney cry like the Indian
in the Keep America Beautiful commercial, it wouldn't equate
with hating the show's writers. They may be nice and otherwise talented people who
meant well. But if your mother,
Tom Hanks and the Dalai Lama make a film to raise awareness
of third-world famine and the result
is Howard The Duck Saves the
Garbage Pail Kids , it's still (at best) a
case of good intentions
gone amok. Likewise, if WDI's most
congenial artists ruin original WDW attractions in an effort to bring
them relevance, people will still be unhappy. Unless it's CircleVision
360, in which case almost no
one will notice or particularly care.
Enchanted Tiki Room:
Under New Management was the worst attraction ever put in front of an
audience
It lent new depth to the word
"abhorrent" and would have made Walt Disney cry like the
Indian in the Keep America Beautiful commercial.
Of course no one
really knows what Walt Disney would have done with
the Tiki Room had he lived to see its 35th anniversary, which is why
anyone who worked on the 1998 version could invoke the
man's name as the utmost proponent of change to
suggest that maybe,
just maybe
, Walt himself might
have thought that introducing Miami Sound Machine to his classic attraction
would constitute an upgrade.
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That kind of
hypothetical
nonsense had been going on ever since Walt Disney died.
Sometimes trying to imagine what he
would have done led to handwringing and frustration,
sometimes it led to about-faces on major projects
and sometimes it didn't even figure into the equation. How could
Card Walker and John Hench assert in a 1975 press conference that
the company's ultimate direction on EPCOT Center was "exactly" what
Walt was talking about ten years earlier, when it was nearly 180
degrees off that course**? Only by A) having worked
so exhaustively to concoct a new use for the EPCOT acronym
that they firmly believed they could deliver on the promise of a
model city without actually building one and B) not having to
worry about their former boss walking into the room and raising
his famous left
eyebrow.
In
fairness, Tropical Serenade should never
have been so
faithful to its Disneyland counterpart. The sing-along segment in particular
was hard to sit through by the 1970s ...
even in 1963
it must have seemed pretty silly. But the Florida show still contained tons of beauty
and artistry. The worst part of the
1998 reworking wasn't that it tampered with the original, it was the flagrant disregard shown for
the luminous properties of
that which preceded it - every new
element broke from the visual and aural
vocabulary of the first version***. The new birds looked more like
Teddy Ruxpin than they did Fritz or Pierre, the script was an in-joke
train wreck and the music was abysmal. After
40-plus years of experience crafting theme park rides and shows,
this
was how Imagineering chose to update The Enchanted Tiki Room?
Seriously? Then came the rationale, offered
in defense of the update, that what
they did to the show probably helped prevent its closure
(due to the 1971 version's slack attendance in the 1990s).
That kind of thinking might have kept The Walt
Disney Story playing on Main Street past
1992. Only instead of Buddy
Baker's haunting soundtrack and Walt's own voice, guests
would have been treated to some Kriss
Kross and Robin Williams making asides about
the flatulence of Doc Sherwood's horse.
Some attractions are better off dead than "jazzed up."
Of
course, the UNM version of the show is now itself dead, leaving behind
a
Sunshine Pavilion where the birds and tikis
sing without the intrusion of extraneous
characters but also without their centerpiece fountain - a
sad reminder of modifications that UNM brought to the attraction.
Did the 2011 return of the original show in a slightly
modified form make UNM seem more innocuous in hindsight? Not to
me, but I don't wash my hands to make the time they
spent covered in pizza grease seem better than having stuck them in
a lion's mouth, I do it because I don't want pizza grease on my PS3 controller
or in my ears. The Imagineers who used the January
2011 fire in UNM as their starting point for cleaning up the Tiki Room may have
acted first and foremost out of pragmatism, but they should still get
loads of credit for not screwing up the third Florida version of the
show with unnecessary bells and whistles.
WDI
is still capable
of producing good work,
and
has continued to do so sporadically since the days when
Baker, Blair, Burns, Coats, Crump, Davis, Gracey, Gibson, McKim, O'Brien, Procopio and Rogers conspired to make amazing things happen with Walt Disney as the guiding force
Splash
Mountain, Roger Rabbit's Car Toon Spin, Twilight Zone
Tower of Terror, MuppetVision 3D, Walt Disney: One Man's
Dream, the EPCOT Center 25th Anniversary Retrospective and
the 1993 rehab of 20K's queue
area stand as examples of Disney retaining the skills necessary to deliver high-quality experiences. In all likelihood, several of the attractions they build
in the next few decades will be enjoyable. The
question for me isn't whether today's Disney company can do things well, it's more one
of why they didn't do so more often ... especially in
Florida. Instead of a well-planned march forward, their collective
work at WDW past 1988 was a
series of random projects suggesting many people at the leadership level had a
poor grasp of what was special about early WDW and poor instincts for
which parts of it should never have been monkeyed
with. That aside, the organization still attracts very talented, dedicated people (some of whom
I call friends) who can do
fantastic things when their abilities are permitted to converge around strong concepts with the
proper
funding.
* A
likely result of A) people's attention spans and overall patience being
diminished as society became more accustomed to immediate gratification,
B) the average guest feeling more entitled to act however they want
because what they paid to get into the parks and/or hotels was
astounding and often meant saving up for years and C) Enchanted Tiki Room:
Under New Management.
** I
really loved the original EPCOT Center (1982-1992), but it was so thinly related
to Walt Disney's EPCOT (the city) plan that earnest
comparisons back in those days were laughable. And if you
don't think the company had a chip on its shoulder about the reality of it
all, talk to WDW employees who were disciplined between 1981 and 1984 for
inadvertently referring to the new theme park as just
plain "EPCOT."
*** WDI did bring in some of the
original Tiki Room voice artists like Thurl Ravenscroft to record new lines.
That's like asking your grandparents to countersign on a car loan, then driving
the car through their living room and giving one of
them a heart attack because it
seemed like a funny idea. On paper. At the
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